“Emotional Intelligence: How to use validation to increase self-confidence, improve communication, and strengthen relationships

Have you ever:

  • Been worried and someone said, “Don’t worry”?

  • Shared about a stressful situation and was told, “It could always be worse!”?

  • Felt upset but thought to yourself, “It’s not a big deal. I’m just overreacting”?

  • Felt hurt by a comment and was told, “It was just a joke, I didn’t mean it”?

  • Become upset and someone said, “Calm down, you’re being irrational”?

Emotional invalidation is everywhere. Yes, even in the most loving, well-intentioned homes. Meaning we ALL do it, usually without even knowing it! Yet despite our best intentions to be good listeners, supportive and caring partners, parents, friends, co-workers, etc, its effects are still felt, and are a significant but undetected contributing factor in the development of many struggles people face today, such as:

  • Anxiety/Depression

  • Low self-confidence/insecurity

  • Relationship problems

  • Difficulties coping with our (and other’s) emotions

  • Struggles navigating the normal ups and downs of life

In short: It IS a big deal.

Emotional intelligence is the ability to: “recognize, understand and manage our own emotions, and recognize, understand and influence the emotions of others.” - Peter Salavoy and John mayer

Traditional therapy often teaches people skills to cope with their emotions. While this is a valuable skill set to learn, it does not include focus on contributing factors to personal struggles, such as the high prevalence of emotional invalidation in our society and why this is important in human development. In addition, despite the fact that emotional intelligence (EQ) is now recognized as playing a more important role than IQ in one's ability to have a successful life, there are limited resources available; when was the last time emotional development was offered as a class when you were in school? So in addition to teaching effective coping skills, I have developed a workshop designed to help others learn about the process of emotional development, how it can be hindered by emotional invalidation, and healed through validation.

Workshop Title:

“Emotional Intelligence: How to use validation to increase self-CONFIDENCE, improve communication, and strengthen relationships

Workshop Description:

This workshop provides valuable information on how to increase emotional intelligence by explaining the important role emotions play in our lives, and how emotional invalidation can hinder our ability to connect with and trust ourselves, and ultimately undermine our confidence and capacity to navigate our world effectively. In addition to learning how to recognize invalidating statements when they happen, you'll also learn how to validate and gain practical tips you can implement today in all your relationships, including the one with yourself.


  1. Understand the important function of emotions

  2. Learn what validation is and why it is important

  3. Learn what invalidation is, what it sounds like, and how it negatively impacts us

  4. Learn how one of the basic functions of the brain can hinder our relationships

  5. Develop effective coping skills to manage uncomfortable emotions

  6. Learn to effectively validate ourselves/others to increase understanding, improve communication/decrease conflict, and strengthen relationship connections

 Target Audience:

  • Individuals 16+

  • Couples

  • Parents

 If you would like to bring this valuable training into your organization, please contact me! This workshop is approximately 60 minutes in length (includes one short break and time for Q and A/discussion), but can be tailored to fit your organization's needs.

I’ve encountered a lot of personal growth and awareness methods over the years, but Katie’s point of view is refreshingly original, and startlingly apt. She combines palpable compassion, a solid intellectual framework, and practical tips that actually work to guide her audience into relating to themselves and others in a new, heartfelt way.
I haven’t stopped talking about emotional validation/invalidation since seeing your talk. I’m not even kidding when I say I have either thought about it or brought it up every day since I heard you! I even printed out the invalidating statements/responses PDF when I was with my family over Christmas. It’s already improved my relationship with both my mom and my boss! Thank you!