Have you ever:
Been worried and someone said, “Don’t worry”?
Shared about a stressful situation and was told, “It could always be worse!”?
Felt upset but thought to yourself, “It’s not a big deal. I’m just overreacting”?
Felt hurt by a comment and was told, “It was just a joke, I didn’t mean it”?
Become upset and someone said, “Calm down, you’re being irrational”?
Emotional invalidation is everywhere. Yes, even in the most loving, well-intentioned homes. Meaning we ALL do it, usually without even knowing it. Yet despite our best intentions to be good listeners, supportive and caring partners, parents, friends, co-workers, etc, its effects are still felt, and are a significant but undetected contributing factor in the development of many struggles people face today, such as:
Difficulties coping with our emotions, and other's emotions
Difficulties navigating the normal ups and downs of life
In short: It IS a big deal.
Emotional intelligence is the ability to: “recognize, understand and manage our own emotions, and recognize, understand and influence the emotions of others.” - Peter Salavoy and John mayer
Therapy often teaches people skills to cope with their emotions. While this is a valuable skill set to learn, it is also beneficial to understand what contributes to emotional struggles in the first place in order to create more understanding and acceptance, and decrease self-blame; all of which can serve as a catalyst for making and sustaining change. However, traditional therapy does not typically focus on contributing factors to personal struggles, such as the high prevalence of emotional invalidation in our society. In addition, despite the fact that emotional intelligence (EQ) is now recognized as playing a more important role than IQ in one's ability to have a successful life, there are limited resources available; when was the last time emotional development was offered as a class when you were in school? So in addition to teaching effective coping skills, I have developed a workshop designed to help others learn about the process of emotional development, how it can be hindered by emotional invalidation, and healed through validation.
“Emotional Intelligence: How to use validation to increase self-CONFIDENCE, improve communication, and strengthen relationships”
This workshop provides valuable information on how to increase emotional intelligence by explaining the important role emotions play in our lives, and how emotional invalidation can hinder our ability to connect with and trust ourselves, and ultimately undermine our confidence and capacity to navigate our world effectively. In addition to learning how to recognize invalidating statements when they happen, you'll also learn how to validate and gain practical tips you can implement today in all your relationships, including the one with yourself.
Understand the important function of emotions
Learn what validation is and why it is important
Learn what invalidation is, what it sounds like, and how it negatively impacts us
Learn how one of the basic functions of the brain can hinder our relationships
Develop effective coping skills to manage uncomfortable emotion.
Learn to effectively validate ourselves/others to increase understanding, improve communication, and strengthen connection in relationships
If you would like to bring this valuable training into your organization, please contact me! This workshop is approximately 60 minutes in length (includes one short break and time for Q and A/discussion), but can be tailored to fit your organization's needs.